Reader Beware: This interview may contain Unapologetic Geek Speak. Proceed at your own risk.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Robyn Bachar to Scribbling Ninjas for one of our Special Interviews. You know the routine. I, your humble servant Keith Melton, ask insightful questions on various topics, and Robyn restrains herself from recommending I seek professional help.
Robyn Bachar’s first book with Samhain, BLOOD, SMOKE, AND MIRRORS (paranormal romance/urban fantasy) released on May 11. The excerpt, which can be found here: http://samhainpublishing.com/excerpt/blood-smoke-and-mirrors hooked me at once, and the book itself is quite excellent.
In addition to being an author, Robyn is also a Professional Hardcore Role Playing Gamer, veteran of a great many epic campaigns, and she slings dice ranging from d4 to d20.

According to rumor, Robyn may have a bit of an Evil God Complex when performing the duties of Dungeon Master. However, we at Scribbling Ninjas feel certain this is just vicious gossip.
BEHOLD, THE INTERVIEW
Keith: Thanks for joining us today Robyn. I don’t regret the huge bribe I had to pay your publicist at all. In fact, when we learned you were rescheduling a Today Show appearance to do an interview with us, a few of the Scribbling Ninjas might have squealed like hamsters trapped in a clothes dryer.
So anyway, tell us a little about where the idea for BLOOD, SMOKE, AND MIRRORS originated.
Robyn Bachar: In the beginning, I didn’t have an idea. I had 30 days of NaNoWriMo ahead of me and all I knew was that I wanted to write something…something with vampires and faeries, and it would be awesome. As inspiration I started by reworking an idea I’d used in a short story I’d written with college, and the rest started to fall into place from there.
Keith: Do you prefer to outline or to seat-of-the-pants it when writing?
Robyn Bachar: I was a pantser, but now I’m a plotter. Every time I’d start a story with only an idea I would hit a wall at around 30k words, without fail. Then I’d let it sit for a while, and eventually the story would join the others in the cemetery of great ideas on my hard drive. Now I’m all about outlines, GMC charts, character questionnaires, the whole 9 yards.
Keith: Do you feel your familiarity with Role Playing Games, video games, and sci-fi/fantasy fiction and movies helps or influences your writing in any way? If so, how?
Robyn Bachar: Yes. If anything it’s made me more determined to do it my way, because I’ve played too many games where I hated the ending. Also, I always put a lot of time and effort into creating backgrounds for my characters—origin stories, essentially—and it frustrated me when those characters didn’t get a satisfactory story in the game. My dice are cursed. No, seriously, they hate me. I can never make an important roll, and finally I got to a point where I decided I’d rather write my own stories instead of watching my character shoot herself in the foot with an arrow because I rolled another 1.
Keith: Do you ever write shorter fiction? Do you prefer novel length, shorter fiction, or have no preference?
Robyn Bachar: I prefer novel length, but I’m trying to work on shorter pieces that’ll be quick, fun reads. My brain is wired for epic, though, so every time I think “oh this will be short” it ends up 100k words long.
Keith: Is BLOOD, SMOKE, AND MIRRORS part of a larger series? Will there be more tales taking place in this world you’ve created?
Robyn the Hopeful: I’m planning on a series, and I’ve been working on more. My editor has the second book now. (And let me tell ya, the suspense of “OMG DOES SHE LIKE IT???!!!” is making me crazy. Crazier.)
Keith: I really like heroine Catherine Baker. She has a great character voice and I also like that she’s busting her ass as a waitress in the beginning of the story. She’s described thusly:
“…I look as threatening as a grade-school librarian. I’m on the overweight side, I wear glasses, and my mouse-brown hair is most often pulled back into a messy braid or ponytail. My wardrobe consists of T-shirts, blue jeans, and unintimidating white running shoes.”
Since some of the heroines in PNR/UF are inexplicably supermodel beautiful and perversely talented, effortlessly loved by all, did you hesitate at all to write against the grain? (And props for doing so, by the way.) Was this a conscious decision to write against the Beautiful Rich Adored People cliché, or just how you “saw” your character?
Robyn Bachar: I love Cat, she’s a lot of fun to write. Are there a lot of supermodel PNR/UF heroines? It seems like most of the ones I remember are pretty but don’t think they are, like Cinderella waiting for the ball. Though Cat does have her Cinderella moments in the book, I wanted her to be average in some ways. She may wear comfy shoes, but she can kick butt with them. Plus I wanted to emphasize the idea that anyone can secretly be a magician in my setting, even the waitress pouring your coffee.
Keith clarifies: To be fair, I was really just thinking of one Big Name heroine in particular, who has annoyed me with her antics more than once in recent history. I shall punish myself for asking hyperbolic and sloppy questions later. Moving on…
Keith the Fan: As a Red Sox fan, I feel much empathy and sympathy for you Cubs fans and the Curse. So, after learning you have some repressed antipathy toward the White Sox…feel free to use this space to get in touch with your true, deep, inner feelings about the White Sox.
Robyn Bachar: Oh, it’s not repressed. I hate the White Sox. The easiest way to spot a bad guy in my writing is if they’re a Sox fan. I was born a Cubs fan—you really have to be, because if you’re waiting for a World Series bandwagon to come by for the Cubs, you’ll be waiting until Hell freezes over. But that’s okay. Even if it’s “wait ’til next year” each Fall, when Spring comes it’s “next year is here!”
Keith: Who would win a fight between Frodo and Willow on a narrow walkway over the Sarlacc and the Great Pit of Carkoon?
Robyn Bachar: If it’s Willow from the fantasy movie of the same name, then I’d pick Frodo, provided he’s not having an emo moment of “oh noes, teh ring is attacking me!” Now, if it’s Willow from Buffy, then clearly Willow wins and Frodo is Sarlacc food.
Keith: Hmm. Honestly, I forgot about Willow from Buffy. Although Frodo packs a sword he used against a giant spider. Since Bree of the Moira Rogers team hates spiders, I think all of us on this blog are contractually obligated to cheer for people who fight giant spiders. So I’m changing your answer to Frodo, just so you can get this question right.
No worries! Chin up! All for the best, eh?
Keith (continued): Do you have any inspiring words for new writers trying to break into the market?
Robyn Bachar: First, finish your book. Second, don’t be afraid to submit it, but for the love of all that’s holy, follow the publisher’s submission guidelines. Don’t be the guy who thinks it’s a brilliant idea to call the editor and read his manuscript to the editor’s voicemail. No one wants to be that guy, because editors will mock you over Twitter and at conferences.
Keith the Rhetorical: Let’s just say, hypothetically, that a certain writer decided to write an entire novel one month before her wedding. In your opinion, would said writer be mildly crazy, genuinely insane, or completely barking mad?
Robyn Bachar: That author is brilliant! And, to be fair, to win NaNoWriMo you have to get to 50k words in a month, and that’s not an entire novel. At least it wasn’t the entirety of, hypothetically, BLOOD, SMOKE AND MIRRORS. That only gets you through Part One of the story.
Keith: Are you an English Major? If so, explain to me why people like us don’t make more money. I mean, I can talk about feminism in Alcott’s Little Women for HOURS. Is that not worth millions in salary, oh cruel world? (cue violins and uncontrolled sobbing)
Robyn Bachar, UIUC alumni: Yes, I am an English Major, and when someone asks me what an English Major does with their degree, I tell them you ask people “Doth thou want fries with that?” Literary criticism is an undervalued skill. Though it did come in handy at my former day job as an editor of college-level textbooks.
Keith: Is it true that RWA holds gladiator-style deathmatches to determine their finalists? If so, what weapons do you favor in your Battle Royale?
Robyn Bachar: What’s the first rule of RWA fight club? You do not talk about RWA fight club. What’s the second rule of RWA fight club? You do not talk about RWA fight club!
Keith: Vampires. Should they sparkle? Should they only sparkle if they’re doused with white phosphorus and impaled with fireworks conveniently known as “sparklers?”
Robyn Bachar: I have no public opinion about sparkly vampires. Because I’m scared of Twihards.
Keith: A very safe answer and well played. Next question. As a crafter of stories, is plot more important to you or character development? Or some mixture/ratio of both?
Robyn Bachar: I think I tend to concentrate on plot more, just because I like to write epic throwdowns where stuff is on fire and “Duel of the Fates” is playing in the background. Well technically I don’t like writing fight scenes, but I like having them in my stories. I suffer through writing them with the help of my friend Sam Adams. Character development is important, especially if it means making your characters suffer, because that’s always fun.
Keith: How does one become a Dungeon Master? Must one assassinate the previous DM with a +2 poisoned blade?
DM Robyn: Occasionally. Usually the former Dungeon Master says, “Dude, I don’t want to run anymore, someone else run.” And thus the mantle of responsibility is passed on to the next victim. Either that or someone says, “Dude, I have this great idea for an adventure! It has ninjas!” and the DM lets them run it.
Keith: Stupid interview questions? Love them, or hate them with the searing heat of a million supernovas?
Robyn Bachar: Well I could be all Zen about it and say, “There are no stupid interview questions. Only stupid interview answers.” Mostly I feel that wacky interview questions are more interesting than the standard “So how did you become a writer?”
Keith the Abused: Speaking of stupid questions…Bree of the writing duo Moira Rogers commanded me to ask you a gaming/RPG/dice related question. When I wrote back begging for specifics or, at least, more clarity, she shrieked, “Suck it up and figure it out, noobcake!” and flounced away.
So feel free to answer her vague gaming/RPG/dice related question here:
Robyn Bachar: Hmm. Technically there’s no question there—
Keith Interrupts: I know. How awesomely clever is that?
Robyn Bachar (continues):—so I’ll just say that I prefer playing tanks over casters, and I hate being the healer. For tabletop I’ve played D&D and the old school Star Wars d6 system. What I learned from D&D is that if you’re planning on going to Waterdeep and some mysterious stranger approaches your party and offers you a job, kill him. Immediately. Because otherwise you’ll never, ever get to Waterdeep.

Keith Momma’s Boy: Tell your readers how awesome your mother is, seeing as she forwarded your manuscript to everyone in her address book. (That’s maternal love and pride, right there.) Also, I’m writing this question on Mother’s Day. Divine Coincidence or Eternal Fate?
Robyn Bachar: Yeah, her excuse was, “I was so proud of you, I wanted to share.” With everyone on the Intarwebs. And it was only half of the first draft, which was really terrible because I hadn’t done much editing to it at that point. For months after that every time I ran into relatives and family friends they’d tell me “Oh I read your story!” Fail. Thankfully now she’s using her social powers for good. I gave her a brick o’ rack cards to hand out to promote BLOOD, SMOKE AND MIRRORS. My favorite story thus far involved my mother giving the cards to people on the L on the way home from a Cubs game. Thanks, Ma!
Anti-Elvish Keith: I recently read on your blog a post that started off quite awesome, delving into Monster Manuals and discussing development and design of various creatures for worldbuilding purposes—and then it careened off the road into chaos and wrongness when you talked about Elves. I don’t like Elves. They are arrogant. They sing too much. They are arrogant. They hate dwarves. And did I mention they’re preening arrogant bastards?
Would you like to apologize here to your adoring public for encouraging Elves to revolt and buy machine guns? Or would you prefer to apologize on your blog?
Robyn “I <3 Elves” Bachar: Dude. Elves with guns. I stand by the idea that this is awesome. Elves are only dwarf haters because the dwarves won’t share their shotguns. My night elf hunter in World of Warcraft has a shotgun, and it makes her happy—at least I assume that’s what the gratuitous bouncing is all about, maybe she just needs to pee. And they’re not all arrogant. Whiny, yes, but not arrogant. You know you want to join the revolution.
Keith the Innocent: Take a moment and tell our readers how much you hate me for running amok through your interview indulging my overweening ego and my need to constantly refer to myself when the spotlight should be on you.
Robyn Bachar: This answer was brought to you by BLOOD VICE, now available in print from Samhain Publishing. BLOOD VICE is Samhain Duckie approved. (Did I mention that I got BLOOD VICE for Christmas from my sister-in-law? And that I almost didn’t get it because she started reading it and didn’t want to part with it?)
Keith: Ha! Your sister-in-law is my new favorite person in the world. A million thanks, and I didn’t even have to pay you to say that stuff. ::Keith quickly hides bribe money::
Keith’s Lazy Question: What did you always want to be asked about in an interview that you’ve never been asked before? Feel free to answer that question here.
Robyn Bachar: “Robyn, would you like to accompany the TAPS team on an investigation for Ghost Hunters?” OMG YES! It’s my favorite show. I own every season on DVD, and I’ve read their books, and…I’ll stop now before I geek out too much.
Keith’s Rapid Fire Questions:
1.) Favorite musical artists and/or genres of music?
Robyn Bachar: My playlist is so weird, you wouldn’t believe it. All time favorite is Sarah McLachlan, but I also like P!nk, Paramore, Evanescence, Lady Gaga, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Enya, Loreena McKennitt, and more weird combinations that make me wonder why iTunes thinks it’s okay to go from Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” to My Chemical Romance’s “Mama”.
2.) Food you hate most? (If it’s not Jell-O, skip this question.)
Robyn Bachar: It is Jell-O, how did you know that? Second would be pickles.
3.) Would you rather go to outer space or deep under the ocean OR Newark, New Jersey?
Robyn Bachar: Right now I’m going to have to go with deep under the ocean, because I just finished watching SeaQuest on Netflix. I loved that show.
Keith’s Last Question: The Future of Publishing—does it look bright, or does it come to an end alongside everything else in 2012?
Robyn Bachar: The future’s so bright, it’s gotta wear shades.
Keith Translates: Obviously, the previous statement was Robyn’s code for We’re All Gonna Die In A Nuclear Inferno That Melts Our Eyes!
My sincere thanks to Robyn Bachar for tolerating us here at Scribbling Ninjas. Now go read her book and wallow in the awesomeness of witches, guardians, the fae, and (I’m quoting this cuz it’s awesome) “gratuitous violence against vampires”! I’m including a buy link and blurb right after I list all the new things I learned today.
What Keith Learned:
1. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. A period of time so sacred to a writer he/she will ignore trivial events (such as weddings and so forth) to hit a specified word count.
2. Pansters can be rehabilitated.
3. Due to a potential curse, Robyn should never be encouraged to go to Vegas and roll the dice.
4. Robyn writes 100,000 word short stories to warm up for her “long” work.
5. In Robyn’s world, Sauron was a White Sox fan. So was Darth Vader. However, Hannibal Lecter most likely cheered for the Yankees.
6. Editors love for authors to read 100,000 word novels to them over voicemail. In fact, voicemail should be extended to 17 hours worth of recording time to accommodate this.
7. Don’t offend Twilight fans or they will chew off your kneecaps.
8. Elves should hurry up and get their emo, arrogant asses off to the Havens already.

Even a bad witch deserves a second chance.
Wrongly accused of using her magic to harm, the closest Catherine Baker comes to helping others is serving their coffee. Life as an outcast is nothing new, thanks to her father’s reputation, but the injustice stings. Especially since the man she loved turned her in.
Now the man has the gall to show up and suggest she become the next Titania? She’d rather wipe that charming grin off his face with a pot of hot java to the groin.
Alexander Duquesne has never faltered in his duties as a guardian—until now. The lingering guilt over Cat’s exile and the recent death of his best friend have shaken his dedication. With the murder of the old Titania, the faerie realm teeters on the brink of chaos. His new orders: keep Cat alive at all costs.
Hunted by a powerful stranger intent on drawing her into an evil web, Cat reluctantly accepts Lex’s protection and the resurrected desire that comes along with it. Lex faces the fight of his life to keep her safe…and win her back. If they both survive.
Warning: This book contains one tough and snarky witch, one gorgeous guardian, explicit blood drinking, magician sex, gratuitous violence against vampires and troublemaking Shakespearean faeries.
Buy Link: http://www.mybookstoreandmore.com/blood-smoke-mirrors-p-5601.html
Robyn Bachar’s Website: http://robynbachar.com/
Keith Melton Interviews People, Keith Uses Paint, Wicked Awesome
Blood Smoke and Mirrors, fae, mages, Robyn Bachar, vampires
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